What about your friends: a girlfriend for every woman

Often times, I’ve encountered women who say they’d rather have male friends – implying that men are less apt to be biased in their judgments. In my opinion, men no matter their sexual preference, can not offer a good ol’ fashion girlfriend heart to heart and downright-fun-girlfriends-only shindig. There’s nothing better than having a woman on your side – someone who understands your chocolate cravings during that “time of the month,” can relate to your relationship ills or offer a listening ear when you’re having problems with your male supervisor.

I’ve lost a few friendships along the journey throughout my life, but as Tyler Perry’s Madea has so cleverly said in one of his plays, some folks are just leaves, passing in the wind. Currently, I have a very small circle of women friends; some of whom I’ve known for a very long time, some that I’ve reunited with since high school and others I met in recent years. Do we always agree? No. But that’s the beauty of friendships with girlfriends. You can argue today (assuming it wasn’t detrimental) and reconnect at a later time.


Although my circle is itty bitty, each of my friends offers a personable trait that helps us become better women, better friends and they always keep me on my toes kinda like the Golden Girls.

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You know you have a true girlfriend who’s worth keeping in the fold when she meets any of the following traits:

THE RIDE OF DIE FRIEND thelma-and-louise

She always has your back – she will don a ponytail and tennis shoes in a heartbeat as well as lather your face with Vaseline, in the event somebody or something “pops off.” Bail money is conveniently concealed underneath her mattress on the left side next to her loaded pistol.

madeaTRUTH HURTS FRIEND

She tells it like it is and doesn’t mind hurting your feelings, if it means getting you to focus on more important matters. She doesn’t hold punches but she’s hesitant to reach below the belt. She knows that telling you what you may not want to hear is probably what you need to hear.

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THE FORBES FRIEND

She’s successful and driven. You admire her and she motivates you to better manage your finances and your life. She’s probably the friend you call when you need bail money after an episode with your RIDE OR DIE FRIEND.

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Bridesmaids

HAPPY HOUR FRIEND

When you’re feeling low, she brings a ton of laughter followed by a number of good stiff drinks. And, she probably can drink you under the table. Both of you typically laugh your heads off while slurring your words. By the time you get home, you may not even remember the drama that led you to the bar in the first place.

last-holidayTHE WANDERLUST

This friend is an adventure-seeking individual. As a result of her love for new exploits, she pushes you to experience the fullness of life. You two travel together, swim under waterfalls and zipline across an expansive forest.

shirley-caesar“THE PLUG” FRIEND

She has the hookup on just about anything you need from weave bundles, concert tickets to designer purses. She knows somebody who knows somebody who can get you what you need.

With qualities like these, it’s nice to know that girlfriends can withstand the test of time and they come equipped with some pretty unique perks making it darn difficult for a male friend to compare. Getting rid of the idea of a female friend, #ibedamned.

If I missed a girlfriend-worthy attribute, please share it with me in the comments section.

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What do the lonely do…on Valentine’s Day?

“What do the lonely do…” are lyrics taken from a Christmas song by the Emotions. The same can be said about Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is that time of year when single people regularly gag at the sight of loving couples. Or, maybe that was just me. But, I’ve been redeemed, reformed, renewed…you get it; I’m no longer an insensitive asshole.  I’ve learned that I, too, can enjoy Valentine’s Day without feeling guilty of being a sap sucker. So, instead of doing nothing at all while the rest of the world is enjoying the day in bliss, I’m going to “find me” and be at peace. So, ladies, I hope these ideas spark action in your life or just pass them on to your single girlfriends .

  • Organize a Girls Night Out

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Obviously, this would make sense organizing an event with your single girlfriends. Coordinate a slumber party (a throwback to your younger years) at a swanky hotel, play games and top off the night by attending a social event or club. Whatever you do, make it a night to remember. No one should be home alone on this day. Who knows, it could be the night you find your special someone.

  • Love yourself, dammit.

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That’s right. Ain’t nothing wrong with a little bump and grind. Go to an adult novelty shop with your friends or by yourself. Purchase sexy lingerie or add to your secret stash (you know the one). Just because you’re by yourself,  doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun.

  • Visit a senior citizen residency center.

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Maybe your Valentine won’t be in your age group, but there are plenty of Valentines of the seasoned kind. Some residents who rarely see visitors would surely appreciate the company or would love a heartfelt meaningful card. As a result of your kind act, you might find a friend. Older individuals are generally full of wisdom, history and wit.

  • Pamper thyself.

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Do you! Indulge in a day at the spa. Get your nails and hair DID. Top that off with a killer outfit and feel good about your status. You’re amazing. What man can resist a new coif, cute toes and a beautiful woman.

  • Shop the sale rack.       

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Forget the candy aisle in your pharmacy retail store on Valentine’s Day. Let the lovers have their day. But, oh you wait. February 15th will have ALL the deals and discounts on candy. If you’ve got a sweet tooth, then you’re in for a treat. I have gone straight bat shit crazy the day after Valentine’s Day and bought enough candy to hibernate until Halloween.

  • Watch a movie.

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I’m not a movie buff, but I enjoy the occasional action film. And, what better way to feel good about your single self than to watch Kill Bill, Volume 1 and 2. Or, just binge watch the latest and greatest on Netflix. If you’re a hopeless romantic, then check out the Hallmark channel. Hallmark has filmed just about every relationship scenario known to man and they seemingly have the power to pull every emotion out of you in 90 minutes or less.  Add popcorn and you’re ready for a good night.

  • Order take out.

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Everybody else is lying on Facebook. Why can’t you? Order take out and post the pics on your social media page. Enjoy a gourmet meal made by the hands of your favorite, local restaurant chef.

  • Go to a bar.

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What do you think other singles are doing? They’re getting their DRANK on and enjoying the company of other singles. You don’t have to take the person home, but you can attempt fate and hopefully engage in great conversation with a perfect stranger. Get the digits or leave ’em just how you met…alone in a bar.

Just because Valentine’s Day is widely known as a day for lovers, it’s also remembered as a day when seven male members of an Irish gang were gruesomely murdered back in the 1920s. Who recalls that bit of information from high school social studies class? Anyway, what I’m saying is that Valentine’s Day is what you make it. Make it a day filled with love and appreciation for ya damn self. #ibedamned

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